


Get Out of My Head

by fullofbloodandhoney



Series: Terry's Glee Reaction Fics [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Epistolary, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 18:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullofbloodandhoney/pseuds/fullofbloodandhoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4x15 reaction fic in which Kurt emails Blaine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Out of My Head

**From:** kurthummel@nyada.edu   
 **To:**   banderson@gmail.com   
 **Subject:**  get out of my head

Dear Blaine,

Sex and the City says that it takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.

I think that’s bullshit.

And yes, I know, it hasn’t even BEEN half the time ever since we broke up, but I already KNOW I wouldn’t get over you in hundred years if I had that kind of time. And I mean… don’t you find it sort of unfair? You’re constantly camped out in my head (practically building a tent and making fire and setting up fishing rods all over the place) and I am trying to get you out while staying friends, because I still want you there but I don’t *want* you *there* and… it is so exhausting.

Do you know what I mean? Do you realize how frustrating that is? I am literally so confused that sometimes I have to check what outfit I’m wearing in a middle of a lecture, because I can’t remember getting dressed. I’m not even sure whether I put on underwear in the morning (and I always do unless it’s the really tight pair of Levi’s because underwear lines are so 1999).

You know I hate losing control, Blaine. And I’m so lost right now. I feel like I’m leading both you and Adam on and I can’t stop myself from doing either. Adam is a wonderful guy. I know you probably don’t want to hear about him, but this is an email, so you can’t stop me by stuffing your tongue in my mouth.

The thing is - he’s exactly what I need right now. (Like when Carrie first broke up with Mr Big and found Aidan, who was hot and mature and made furniture with his bare hands.)  But every time I’m with him, I can’t stop comparing everything he does to you. The length of his eyelashes, the lilt of his laughter, the softness of his hair, the way he holds my hand, even his damn singing voice.

I can’t stop thinking about *your* eyelashes and the way they tickle when you kiss my neck. I can’t stop thinking about those giggles you sometimes can’t help but let out when you get really excited. I can’t stop thinking about burying my fingers in your freshly washed curls. I can’t stop myself from lusting after your voice, after your strong arms…

I just can’t seem to stop thinking. Comparing.

Which is ridiculous, because you honestly *couldn’t* be more different. It’s like you’re polar opposites. (Come to think of it, that’s probably the reason I asked him out in the first place.)

He’s *everything* you’re not.

Unfortunately, that also means that he’s *nothing* like you are. And sometimes I find myself yearning for those missing parts.

Seems I can’t have it all. Again: How incredibly frustrating.

Yesterday we were watching Moulin Rouge and I had this daydream (most likely induced by Santana’s polish remover) about you and I singing Come What May… and I just… lost it a little.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this madness. To tell you the truth, right now I’d be ok with not hallucinating next time I decide to watch The Notebook or When Harry Met Sally, if it’s not too much to ask.

I think my own brain is rebelling against me.

Today I asked Isabelle if you ruined me for other men. She laughed really hard, patted my cheek and said that there is a reason for everything and that sometimes the things we don’t allow ourselves to want just don’t let us sleep until we admit that we want them. Because it’s ok to want things. And it’s only then that we move forward.

So I guess she gave me stuff to think about.

And you take care, all right? Dad says the snow is horrible all over Midwest as well. I really don’t need to be worried about you getting sick again and having delusional girls rubbing smelly substances all over your body on top of everything.

xo,

Kurt


End file.
